By the end of the week, I'm feeling pretty good. Why shouldn't I? I'm here at the DLI. Three months ago, this is exactly where I wanted to be. I'm doing what I wanted to do. I'm learning Chinese and I'm the top of my class. I don't mind wearing my ABUs, the food is actually pretty delicious, my dorm is comfy, I have all of my electronics (I bought myself a PS3 and a flat-screen TV) and I'm getting paid! I'm going to school for free, I'm getting my teeth fixed for free. Monterey, California is absolutely GORGEOUS, and the view from the post is amazing. The town has the same vibe as home. What more could I want?
But Sunday nights always trigger something. This feeling of hopelessness overwhelms me. I realize I'm going to be here for a year and a half, 3000 miles away from my family, waking up at an ungodly hour to make it to breakfast then formation every morning, forced to go to group PT to do push-ups and sit-ups and jog because I can't be trusted to do them on my own, constantly letting people know where I am and why I am and how I am, making sure absolutely everything is on-point and perfect lest I get yelled at by one of the sergeants.
And I only get to go home 2 weeks a year for Christmas.
My graduation date? March 22nd 2012.
There are days when I want out, when I google "how to get out of the military." But then I come to my senses and realize that I'd lose all of my benefits, I'd have to pay back my loans myself, I'd have to go find another job, I'd have to go to another college.
I'm stuck. And I don't know how to fix it.
Sunday nights are bad. Mondays are worse. Tuesdays are pretty bad too. Wednesday, things start to pick back up. The end of the week is paradise. Then it's Sunday night again.
Nothing has made me so bipolar as the military.
Anyway, have a latrine photo: